User talk:Twisted Memories
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:Twisted Memories page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Princess Callie (talk) 17:07, August 20, 2014 (UTC) Story. There were a number of punctuation errors. (A question mark or a period can be used as a conclusion. Issues with commas missing especially on the section thump, thump, thump, and a general overuse of ellipses.) Additionally the premise has been covered a few times and you didn't really flesh it out. It lacks a real build-up or plot. You mention how they're staking the protagonist, but don't give any reason, point, plot development. I would suggest taking this concept to the writer's workshop to flesh it out and revise it should you want to post a deletion appeal EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:42, September 13, 2014 (UTC) RE: Story Deletion Your story was probably deleted for one or more of these reasons: #It was a spinoff or contained blacklisted subject(s). You can find a full list of unacceptable story elements in the Site Rules. #It was unfinished. #It was heavily cliched or predictable. #It had more than some grammar/punctuation/spelling errors. If you still feel in the dark, try making a case on Deletion Appeal or use the Writer's Workshop forum for feedback. In the future, please remember to sign your messages with the Signature button. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I'd rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 01:44, September 13, 2014 (UTC) Story. Some minor issues first. Don't start sentences with conjunctions. (And, but, because, etc.) It is not grammatically correct and negatively impacts the flow of the story. Additionally I would recommend not using ellipses unless specifically denoting a pause in dialogue or an omission of words from quotation. (Not for dramatic pauses in the story, that is what a comma, period, or semicolon is for.) The more major issues that contributed to your stories deletion were the lack of content and plot. The story addresses exfoliation and then ends. There is no real drive or explanation why this is creepy. (I understand you could argue the concept of slowly deteriorating, but that is undone by the fact that we are constantly renewing skin cells.) It comes across as a theory pasta without any theorizing. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:10, November 12, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:37, November 17, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story It was deleted as it fell below our quality standards. Starting with the basics, do not indent paragraphs. While common elsewhere, on the wiki, it caused white box issues that make the text virtually unreadable unless viewed in editor mode. Formatting issues like this were also present: "“Idiot, idiot, idiot!” Were..." As that's a continuation of the sentence, it should not be spaced out like that. Additionally A number of paragraphs are two-three sentences long. This is fine once in a while, but using too many stunted paragraphs gives the story a rushed/unfocused feel to it. Wording issues: "I began to notice the specs (specks) of sweat..." Specs is a different word from specks. "The bright red hole on the side of my jeans, and the surrounded (surrounding) area that was stained with a thick and fresh crimson.", " deep, chocking (choking) breath". "My eyes were welling and..." Awkward wording. Capitalization issues: "inhaled…. And (and) exhaled." Unless it is a proper noun, or the start of a new sentence, words following ellipses should not be capitalized. Story issues: the story feels very rushed and the vague nature of the plot/premise weakens the overall story. Take a look at the ending for example: "Snapping passed the uniform and cutting deep into the soft skin, beginning the final celebration… " Why is the protagonist doing that, why are they disemboweling the man. There's no explanation/reason given behind their actions so it just comes off as something you decided to add to the story on a whim (which makes for a flimsy plot.) I'm sorry, but there were far too many issues to correct and the rushed nature of the plot and the non-fleshed out premise resulted in the story falling below our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:53, November 17, 2015 (UTC) Re: It was deleted as we've tightened up our quality standards on poetry. Starting with the basics, if a poem is free verse, it should stick to the same meter and have a rhythm. Yours fluctuates from three-five word lines to 20+ and when read aloud, really feels off. Additionally you overuse ellipses, in a twenty line poem, you use ellipses 12+ times so it gives the poem a very unintentionally melodramatic feel with the numerous 'dramatic pauses'. There are also quite a bit of capitalization and punctuation issues present in the story (typically involving end lines and after ellipses usage.). After review, I decided it wasn't up to the standards we've recently set on poems. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:07, December 3, 2015 (UTC)